Saturday, 22 October 2016

Confessions of a Serial Petticoat Wearer: RollerWorld

It's been a busy week for a Serial Petticoat Wearer...we celebrated the other half of Lesley's Girls, Susannah's special birthday.  We can't say how old she is (she will probably strangle me with a vintage scarf if I do) but it was a special number!!

We celebrated by reliving our youth and headed to Rollerworld.  For those not local- Rollerworld is sort of a slippery hell where you voluntarily enter on your own two flat feet, and then PAY to have wheels attached to them and risk serious injury and/or death by hurling yourself round a super slippery floor repeatedly- swerving children of 8 who are more stable than you and the odd pensioner- who is again more stable than you with said wheels attached to their feet.
We lost one of our party immediately- floor met arse and she bowed out - an early defeat for the Birthday Celebrations.  Rollerworld 1-Birthday Celebrants 0.

If you want you can get a request from the DJ (yes that's right this wheeled health and safety hazard turns in to a disco past 7pm) you have to climb the stairs to the DJ Booth.....in your roller-skates. Worse, if you want an alcoholic beverage (even this was a mad idea to me a massive wine lover) you have to climb TWO flights of stairs to get to the bar....again in your roller-skates. And then come back down again, presumably more inebriated than you went up there and your are still wandering around with wheels attached to your feet.  I'm not sure whether it's a big ruse and they have video cameras set up there and send them off to "You've Been framed" every week thus supplementing their income #RollerworldConspiracyTheory.


Each of us succumbed to the a false sense of security declaring we had got it and we could skate perfectly.... at which point we each fell over. Me- off the toilet (yes you even wear roller-skates to the toilet), my partner fell over trying to go backwards (okay I may have helped him fall over a little bit..... okay so maybe I pushed him), and then there were various arse, elbows, faces meeting the floor thereafter. Rollerworld 7 - Birthday Celebrants 0

However, Susannah then showed us all up with her sweet skating skills and did not fall over once, she even managed to go backwards for a period.  So balance redressed in spades by the Birthday Girl Rollerworld 7 - Birthday Celebrants Susannah 100.  Health and Safety hazards aside it was a brilliant night and we had loads of fun and Susannah and I are already plotting another trip down memory lane there!

And for the record as a serial petticoat wearer I obviously upped the ante for the occasion and wore not one not even two but three petticoats while negotiating the roller rink.  Just because you are risking life and limb doesn't mean you can't be all swirly at the same time!

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